6 Overprotective Big Brothers
by E. J. Morgan
Summary: Q-niverse AU - Q has been behaving rather funny lately. The Double-Os are worried and decide to take matters into their own hands.


It was 6:30 AM, still half an hour before the beginning of Q's shift when he entered Q-Branch humming a cheerful melody under his breath and holding a paper cup in his left hand.

003 was standing at R's workstation, just about to hand back his equipment (well, what had remained of it, anyway) after having successfully completed his mission in Dubai the day before.

He gaped when Q entered. While it was not unusual to see the boy in Headquarters outside of his working hours, it definitely wasn't customary to see him carrying- "Coffee, Q!? Since when do you drink coffee? What happened to Earl Grey?"

"Good morning to you, too, 003! Oh, you have brought back something? Wonderful! Certainly more than what 006 came back with last week! So, less paperwork for me this time, it's just splendid!"

"Well, I live to serve… But you haven't answered my question! Why are you holding a cup of coffee?"

"Why, I believe people usually have a cup in their hands when they want to drink from it, wouldn't you say?"

"That's exactly it! Q, you're sixteen, it's not good for you to drink coffee! There are all kinds of articles about it in the internet; look it up! Too much caffeine can lead to headaches, stomach problems and lack of sleep! The amount of tea you drink isn't very healthy either but coffee is so much worse! And you don't rest enough as it is anyway."

"I thank you for your concern, 003 but I assure you, I'm perfectly fine and am absolutely able to decide for myself what I drink or don't drink. I'm awaiting your report on your mission by tomorrow evening. Until then, have a nice day, you've earned your rest!" – And with that, he entered his private office and closed the door.

"What the-?" – Asked 003 astonished. – "What the hell happened and why was he smiling like a fool?"

R just shook her head in pity, as if she knew a secret that the Double-O agent had no hope to ever understand.

"Bond, Trevelyan! We need to talk, right now!" – Declared 003, grabbing the two agents who were just leaving the gym by their arms each and dragging them into an empty room, double-checking to make sure they weren't followed or overheard by anyone, before closing the door securely.

"What is it, Mason? And why are you whispering?" – Asked Alec totally confused.

"It's Q!" – stated 003 simply as explanation.

"What about him? Is something wrong with him? Do I have to kill someone? I swear, if anyone has hurt him…" – Bond looked around him, glaring daggers into the sparsely furnished room, as if he expected Q's supposed enemy to suddenly materialize out of thin air for him to punch.

"No, no, nothing like that. It's just that he's very happy…"

"So?" –For the life of him, Alec couldn't figure out what should be wrong with their favorite teenager being happy.

"So!? He's walking around the place humming, didn't even berate me for losing half of the pieces of my Walther in Dubai and he's _drinking coffee_!"

"He's what!?" – shouted the two agents at the same time.

"He's walking around-"

Bond rolled his eyes at that: "We're talking about the part of him drinking coffee, Mason! I've never seen him with coffee. He always drinks tea. And I mean: all the time! Earl Grey, without sugar or milk but with exactly 6 drops of lemon and so hot that nobody else is even able touch the mug. Everyone knows that."

"Well, it looks like he has changed his habits because I just saw him this morning enter with a take-away paper cup full of coffee. I asked around a little in Q-Branch and – after frightening a few of the minions – a have learnt that this wasn't the first time, either. Apparently, this has been going on for about a week now! Every morning, he enters, carrying coffee.

"It's bad, really bad. Coffee is not good for teenagers. I don't know why he would want to do harm to himself but we can't let it go on!" – Alec looked absolutely worried now.

"Right, of course. I think we should talk with the others and come up with a plan to stop this nonsense." – decided Bond and they agreed on doing just that and discuss the matter together with all the interested people later to think of a plan.

The Double-Os managed to hold a crisis conference in the afternoon that very day. Even those who were away on missions (001, 002 and 009) managed to participate via Skype from their locations, regardless of what they would have been supposed to do or in which time-zone their currently resided. This was a very serious matter after all: it was about Q.

"I can't believe that you let him do this! If I were there…" – berated them all 002 who found it absolutely horrible that his 'little brother' would endanger his health like that.

"You couldn't do more than what we are doing, Johnson! That's exactly why we're all here right now, isn't it?"

"Does anyone have any idea what we could do?"

"Why in the world would he suddenly want the buy himself anything when anyone would gladly make him here his tea? Every minion knows exactly how he takes it and they are ready to jump to make it for him, should he want it."

"Do you think he _smokes_ , too?"

Everyone started to panic at that notion. At the end they decided they needed help from someone who might be able to keep a cooler head in the situation. The decided to talk with Eve Moneypenny.

The Double-Os (minus 001, 002 and 009 who were all still away) visited Eve the next day during lunchtime. Moneypenny was sitting in front of her computer, writing a report for Mallory while eating a sandwich. She looked up surprised when she noticed the committee entering the office.

"What is it? Would you all like to go in to talk to Mallory? Is it a strike of agents?" – She asked half-joking, half-worried.

"No… ahm… actually, Eve, we…" – Began Bond.

"We're here to talk with you." – Finished Rodriguez quickly before they could change their minds. Eve could be frankly quite frightening when she wanted to be.

"Oh, really? And what about?" – She was honestly interested now; never before had she seen the agents fidget like scared schoolchildren.

"It is about Q. We are worried about him." – Admitted Flemming.

"He's behaving uncharacteristically lately. Even the minions have noticed, though they wouldn't tell anything more to us about it." – Hamilton looked like he didn't appreciate the loyalty of Q's underlings in a dire situation like this one.

"Oh, yeah? And just what is so 'uncharacteristic' about him, hmm?" – Though Eve already had a pretty good idea what this was about. And she enjoyed every moment of it.

"He's humming!"

"He comes in every day at the same time: 6:30! Regardless of when his ship begins…"

"He is always cheerful and not even angry about destroyed gadgets anymore!"

"He drinks _coffee_!"

"I see." – Smiled Eve.

"Ahm, correct me if I'm mistaken but you don't seem very worried about it all…?" – Bond voiced the question on everyone's minds.

"That would be because I'm not."

"You're not even worried about him drinking coffee? Just imagine he would drink as much coffee as he usually does with tea! He would get a heart attack on the second day!"

"No, Flemming, I'm not worried about it either because I happen to know for sure that Q absolutely hates coffee and would never drink a drop of it."

"But… but… I don't understand, I _saw_ him with a cup myself just yesterday!" – Mason really didn't know what to think anymore. He could trust his own eyes, couldn't he!?

"Yes, you saw him with a cup and so? I see him every day with it, as a matter of fact. He's so cute!"

"He buys a cup of coffee every day because he's _cute_ with it?" – That's just plain crazy…

"No, Bond, of course not! He buys it because he likes the girl who works in the coffee shop and wants to ask her on a date. But he doesn't trust himself to do it, so he orders a coffee instead. It's soooo adorable! Especially since he doesn't mind it, for this way he can see her every day and she's always especially nice to him." – Eve looked like a mother cooing over her child that just took his first steps alone.

"WHAT!?"

"Q's in _love_?"

"This is all because of a _girl_?"

"What do we know about her anyway?" – Alec was already formulating plans how to find out everything about her whole family and all of her friends. He knew it wouldn't be easy without Q's help but they'd manage.

"Only that she is 19 and a university student taking correspondence courses. She studies English literature, works in said coffee shop and lives with her parents in Brent. And that is enough, Trevelyan! You are not going to spy on this young lady and embarrass Q! It's difficult enough for him not being able to tell her the truth about himself and his work. He doesn't need you to make things worse. Leave them alone!"

"Yeah, ok… But 19? Isn't that a bit too old for him?"

"He's a genius, for God's sake, working for MI6 as Quartermaster. Do you really think he could date a sixteen-year-old girl?"

"I think he shouldn't date anyone. Not yet, anyway!"

"Mason, don't be stupid, that's absurd! Now, all of you: shoo. I have work to do."

So the Double-Os left Moneypenny's office, deep in thought and not at all at ease with this new revelation. They were still in daze when they reached the recreation room and were about to enter.

006 unexpectedly halted in the door so that all of the others who were trying to walk in after him, collided with his back. He suddenly paled and cold sweat appeared on his forehead. Bond even grabbed his shoulders for fear that he would faint.

"Guys, I just had a horrible thought! Which one of us is going to give him _The Talk_?"

003 actually did faint at that.


End file.
